Normally, I'm not a violent person. I've had days where punching walls seemed like a good out, but I've had broken fingers, and wrists before...so I've opted to not punch drywall. Hitting people has never seemed like a good idea...even as a kid, (I'm sure my mother would beg to differ) I can only remember a couple of times, I purposely took a swing at someone. It was usually deserved, although, most definitely not justified.
Violence makes me sick to my stomach.
However, the last week or so has encouraged an urge to punch a couple of people in the throat...or ear. Again, deserved but not justified. Violence is never justified.
I'm not at liberty to discuss such events. Regardless, I'm having a hard time understanding how someone can be so hurtful towards people who have given them everything. Supported them even though they didn't necessarily agree with their actions. Loved them, regardless of their lack of a mutual support. Forgiven them. Continued to count them as family. Let me tell you...blood doesn't make you family.
Outstanding support, love, encouragement, and dedication, regardless of circumstances. That's family.
I've heard the whole "people do the best they can in the given circumstances..." bit, and I'm not buying it, this time. Call me arrogant, or ignorant...or any other host of insults. They won't hurt me. There's not much more hurt that can be done. The whole heart in a blender thing comes to mind...again.
We reached the point where tears are inevitable...not because of heartache, but because when one is that angry, tears flow regardless of any effort to prevent such a scene.
It feels like things have just sank to a level of pettiness, and revenge. They claim that they're doing the best for themselves. Sure...burn bridge. Go ahead. You're burning them beyond recognition at this point.
Then, there's the whole 'turn the other cheek' thing to consider. I'd just like to say that my cheeks have had all they can take. I can't imagine how the cheeks of those further involved are doing. Their pain radiates, although, they're doing a marvelous job at rising above.
I hold an utmost admiration for those who can set aside the backstabbing and pain. They don't hand out more chances. They just take the betrayal and turn it into a learning experience about who to trust and who not to trust.
Learning from those people is keeping me from punching walls...and people. Redirecting the heartache and anger into something productive.
In closure...taking out an urge for violence is much better directed at my keyboard, and blog, then at people who might actually deserve it.
