Five years ago on this very day, my life changed forever. My family was torn apart. Pieces of my heart went in different directions. Everything fell apart. I sank. I sank into a depression I didn't know I was in.
I got help. I'm healing.
Now, on this anniversary, this time of the year, it comes flooding back. Pieces of my heart are back, fractured, but back. And other pieces have been ripped away. I didn't realize how bad it was until I was doing better, and then worse again. I know it will get better.
It will probably feel like this forever, though I would imagine it will get easier, eventually. It won't ever be the same; not that I want it to be. However, that grief, the loss, it is still there. And this time of year, it's torn wide open. Raw.
I think that's okay. We aren't supposed to sweep our feelings under the rug. At the same time, we aren't supposed to expose them to every person we encounter.
So, excuse me if I'm not myself. Excuse me if my eyes are red and tired. Excuse me if I can't seem to involve myself. It will pass. It will pass.
