To Have A Baby

As a woman nears the end of pregnancy, one of the most frequently asked questions is "what's your birth plan?"

Well, mine is to have a baby. What's yours??

Most of you probably know that Isaiah's labor and delivery was not at all what we planned for. We planned for a home birth with a midwife, a doula, and a few close friends. I wanted a water birth. I wanted to be at home.

After nearly 30 hours of intense labor with very little progress, my labor stalled. They couldn't break my water, I was throwing up, my blood pressure was going up, and our birth team, and Jon and I were completely worn out.

We ended up at the hospital. After 8 hours, an epidural, pitocin, 2 and a half hours of pushing, and, only by a miracle, dodging a c-section, our beautiful baby boy was finally born.

I wasn't mad, irritated, or upset with my birth plan 'failing'. I know it happened how it happened for a reason. Isaiah is alive. I am alive. That's the goal we were working towards. Even if we didn't get there how we thought we would. We got there.

With Jayme we planned a hospital birth with really no expectations. Early labor was intense and exhausting. Active labor was short. They wanted to monitor the baby because she was a bit early. I couldn't stand sitting still for this. So another epidural...but this one didn't work. Not the worst pain I've ever experienced but it definitely wasn't a picnic. I pushed 3 times, and had a teeny tiny baby in my arms.

This time around, the question has started popping up again.

Ideally, I'd love a water birth with no pain medications. However, sometimes things don't go how we plan for them to or how we think they will.

So my birth plan is only this. To have a baby. Madalynne Danielle will be here soon. She'll be in my arms, and my heart will get that 'I love you so much my heart might actually explode' feeling all over again. She'll be perfect and lovely and exactly as she is supposed to be.

And I will have had a baby. Wither completely natural, intervened by medication, or if I have a c-section. I will have had a baby.